Tuesday, 7 August 2012

IF ONLY YOU COULD BE MINE!!


It’s not abnormal to fall for someone unattainable; it is to think that you need to do something about it.

I am going to write on a sensitive subject. I don’t think Santa Singh could give any advice on this one. In fact I don’t think even I can. But the problem is so pervasive, particularly among the adolescents and young adults that this stress can’t be ignored. Pick up any agony aunt column in a magazine or newspaper-what’s the most common question? ok, all those whose mind went straight to I masturbate 400 times a day, will it make it weak.-please kick yourself twice for having a one-track mind and the rest stay on with me. The most common question is, “I am in love with someone who I can’t be with (either he/she is super-hot celebrity, or already married, or in a relationship with someone, or simply not interested). How do I try to deal with this stress.”


Well my answer is ……don’t. Yes…….as a first step, don’t try to deal with it. Accept that it’s not abnormal to fall in love with someone who’s totally out of your league-he/she could be a film star, your boss, your teacher or even your best friend’s caring wife (who, by the way, seems caring only as long as they are someone else’s). What’s abnormal, or rather a cause of concern, however, is when you start to think that you need to do anything about it. Or when you begin to develop a complex because of not being able to attain the object of your desire.

Santa Singh’s teenaged daughter Harleen Kaur, who has plastered the walls of her room with the posters of Brad Pitt, having neatly cut out Angelina Jolie from all of them, was fine till she started scribbling “Mrs Harleen Kaur Pitt” 100 times on the back page of her school notebooks and began a ‘sixteen Monday’ fast (solah somvaar) to ensure that Lord Shiva somehow gets Brad on the next flight to Faridabad sector – 37. Now that’s where she, and millions like her need to be told that the “feeling of feeling for someone special” is borne out of your own thoughts and not binding on you somehow getting that person in your life. In most cases, what we are in love with is not the person, but the perception of him/her in our minds. The one who seems an epitome of perfection to us from every angle may be an annoying monster to those who actually have him/her in their lives. If those film stars were like the best gifts God could give to their partners, why would there be divorces or separations in their relationships?


The calmness trick, if you are also hopelessly in love-in your thoughts-with someone who cannot be yours, is to positively enjoy that feeling and not go on an overdrive to take it to a level where it ceases to be a ‘healthy’ crush. You have to set your own boundaries. Writing fan mail every day or waiting for hours to get an autograph is okay-slitting your wrists to write a letter in blood, or not appreciating your own partner for not being ‘as good’ is so not done. Fantasizing is great, getting obsessive is crazy!! Take your pick.


P.S: I’m getting a treat today. I called up Santa ji’s residence and asked for Harleen Kaur Pitt !

 

19 comments:

  1. Well writen miss Nanra......Its indeed very true but inspite of knowing it we still fall for that thing...So i would be interested in knowing How to get Rid of that amazing feeling !!!!!

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    1. ha ha ha... thanks DV... m glad u liked it ! means a lot :) and y want to get rid of such a feeling as long as its healthy :) as i said, fantasising is great, but getting obsessive is crazy, and m sure if it gets obsessive it wont remain "amazing"
      !! :)

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  2. such a relevant but ignored topic!!! nice.... me like!!

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    1. hey... thank u sooo much suchitra !!
      m super glad !!
      :)
      keep reading.... :)

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  3. Its not just relationships!! Its everything from a good job, a big house, a high end sedan that we want to own, to possess!! and its all rooted in us from childhood that achievements are measured on these grounds. Very well thought out and very correctly presented. reminds me of Hari shankar Parsai!!

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    1. absolutely !!
      this obsession exists in different spheres of life...
      and thanks for i reminded u of hari shankar parsai... though i have nt read most of his work but remember a few satirical stories... :)
      and m glad u liked it !! keep reading :)

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  4. haha.."Harleen Kaur Pitt"...yea even i believe dat it's natural to fall in love with the stars..!! very fresh concept.!

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  5. Concept is good and so is your writing..u know how to blend words into sentences and make them look readable to people..
    I personally don't get into such superficial things so was not able to relate to it completely but its a good piece for those crazzyy romeos and Juliets who get into imaginary commitments with different people in different aspects of their lives.
    I like it because it is written with a cause and which is projecting on something positive..
    If i would have been in your place a spat on the back of the head of MRS Harleen Kaur Pitt to make sure that Mr.Pitt comes right out of the mouth would have been my Modus Operandi but instead u chose words to do the same (Now PLEASE don't educate me that violence is bad and words create greater impact as u will I know).
    Keep writiin Leen.
    Looking forward to reading your articles:)
    You will get better with time!!

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    1. hey tob, thanks sooo much for the insight review.... loved every word of it ! spat on the back of Mrs Pitt sounds fun to me :D
      yes, i will keep writing if u support, read and love my work as u do !! :)
      means a lot to me :)

      PS: u must create a blog too, u write some really really good shit... !

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  6. I've been through this than I turned 17! 16 Mondays Fast, that sure is not healthy. If you call Harleen Kaur Pitt, give her my warm regards, she will need it.

    This was an interesting read.

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    1. ha ha ha... u too ?? i happen to have crushes on old teachers even now at times...lol.. but definitely nt 16 mondays fast...lol....

      Mrs Pitt sent her love to u !! and said keep reading gurleen's blog :)

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  7. Nice and Neatly done, Education is meant to be shared not bounded in books and sold for money, great initiative :)

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    1. thanks a ton mukesh !!
      we don need no education..... :)
      want to say anythn to Mrs Pitt ????

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  8. well written and i believe d adolescents vl truly n honestly relate to it..i just by chance read dis post as it came to my mind dat u started blogging..keep writing..as alwaz it was interesting :)

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    1. hey sajith... thanks soooo much man... glad u liked it ! i will keep writing and u keep encouraging me... it feels great !! thanks sooo much man !! made my day :)

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